What if gossiping was a criminal offence or monkeys were trained for spying as suggested in other countries
Although there is always an element of doubt over quirky news items, I seriously feel that sometimes they do suggest innovative solutions to complex problems. Let’s take a look at some of the recent ones: “A Columbian city has introduced a new law under which people can be jailed for gossiping.” Now can you imagine the result of this law if it is enforced in our country? At least 70 per cent of our housewives will find their way to the jail and most of their husbands will hit the pub celebrating their new-found freedom. Ekta Kapoor will have to wind up her soap operas because no woman will ever want to see these soaps and still keep her mouth shut. Some of the Bollywood stars will heave a sigh of relief, while the likes of Mallika Sherawat might quit films to become sanyasins. She loves being talked about, isn’t it? And most importantly, the effective working hours at the government offices, where Sachin’s tennis elbow and Yana Gupta’s hip shaking numbers – often not in that order – matter more than an urgent file, will witness an upward swing. If this was interesting, the next one is even better. “An elite American SWAT team wants to train a small monkey as the ultimate reconnaissance tool. Wearing a bullet-proof vest, video camera and two-way radio, the monkey would be able to get into places where no officer or robot could go.” Is Tarun Tejpal listening? Now that every politician and Bollywood actor is wary of sting operations and nosy journalists, the next Ruchi Srivastava could be a little monkey from Marredpally. And this will also solve the problem of Municipal Corporation of Hyderabad, which has been playing a cat and mouse game with monkeys in residential localities for a long time. So, here’s a possible title for the next sting operation on illicit Bollywood affairs – Ek Bandar Hotel Ke Andar.